Don't search for venues, caterers, or attire until you have these 3 items nailed down.
For some, wedding planning can be a fun process, for others, it becomes a slog that causes them to question whether all the stress is worth it. As a professional wedding planner, I've seen both of these scenarios. Wedding planning isn't all dress shopping and cake tasting, it requires budgeting, logistics, and research.
If you want to have a pleasant experience, then complete the next 3 tasks before you even download a planning checklist.
Budget
Money can be a stressful topic for some couples to discuss, but having an agreed-upon budget before making any planning decisions is essential to avoiding headaches further down the line. Building a budget requires knowledge of what you can spend and/or how much you can save in a reasonable amount of time.
Keeping your wedding money separate from your regular checking and saving will also be helpful. Opening a Wedding Savings Account with its own debit card will make it much easier to avoid mix-ups. Another bonus is the ability to see what you are really spending without searching through bank statements.
If you're unsure about the amount to save, look into the average cost of a wedding in your area. Someone planning a wedding in Chicago will need to save a lot more than someone in a rural area. The average in my area is around $20K, but I've had weddings with budgets under $10K that were just as nice.
For more information on Wedding Savings Accounts, check out this article from MyWalletJoy.
Please note that I am not affiliated with MyWalletJoy.
Guest Count
This item can be a bit tricky in the beginning. Instead of thinking about the number of guests (and those involved in the ceremony itself), think of the overall feel you want for your wedding. Would small and intimate, or big and rowdy be more your style? For those of us with lots of friends and family, it can be tough to have a small wedding but trust me, it is possible without hurting anyone's feelings.
Your guest count is also intrinsically tied to your budget. The average cost per guest is $100. That's invitations, place settings, catering, drinks, favors, and transportation if you're providing it. This cost per guest can be reduced with some creative planning, but it is still something to consider when deciding on the size of your wedding.
DIY
When I say DIY, I don't just mean hand-making favors, I mean doing your own setup and tear down, catering all the food yourself, or having friends and family step in to help. While most people associate DIY with cost-saving, doing things yourself can be surprisingly expensive if you aren't careful. I've seen a bride absolutely destroy her budget by insisting on hand-making all of her favors, without taking into account the cost of materials and the amount of time she had to take off of work at the end to devote entire DAYS to finishing them before the wedding.
Some couples are not crafty or don't have enough time between work/kids/life to devote to DIY. In these cases, you can either pay for professionals to get it done right and on time, or have your community pitch in. I've personally provided catering for a friend's wedding as my wedding gift. It saved them money and gave them peace of mind.
A word of caution, having non-professionals help with your wedding can backfire horrendously. Only let people take projects you know they can handle and complete on time. Your best bet is to give them a deadline before the wedding to ensure it's done on time and you get a chance to see the final product.
Still Needing Help?
If you still need guidance on creating a realistic budget, narrowing down a guest count, or deciding on DIYs, I offer Wedding Roadmap and Partial Planning services.
The Wedding Roadmap is a 2-hour meeting where I provide resources and knowledge to help get you set on the right path to planning a low-stress wedding. We're talking checklists, questions to ask vendors, and lists of professionals I've worked with and trust.
Partial Planning is for those who have gotten started and may be facing a roadblock. I can work with you to attend vendor meetings, gather quotes from event professionals, schedule consultations, assist with rental orders, and share checklists to keep you on track.
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